Can we talk about the expectations some brides are putting on their bridesmaids?
I've already shared my thoughts about the financial strain of being a bridesmaid these days. Between destination bachelorette parties, dresses, gifts, and travel expenses, it's getting expensive just to stand beside your friend on her wedding day.
But there's another side to this that deserves some attention.
The emotional toll.
I recently saw a story about a bridesmaid who instructed the other girls not to take any pictures unless the bride was included.
Since when are grown women not allowed to take pictures with their friends because the bride isn't in the frame?
Then there was the bride who reportedly wanted her bridesmaids to dye their hair so she could be the only blonde.
Ladies, we have officially lost the plot.
Somewhere along the way, we've confused being the bride with having complete authority over everyone involved in the wedding.
And that's just not how friendships work.
Your bridesmaids are your friends. They're not props you get to customize for your wedding photos.
They're individual women with their own personalities, appearances, preferences, and lives. And agreeing to stand beside you on your wedding day doesn't mean they've agreed to surrender those things.
Of course, there are reasonable expectations that come with being a bridesmaid. Wearing a particular dress, showing up on time, participating in wedding events, and being supportive are all part of the commitment.
But there's a difference between asking your friends to support your wedding vision and expecting them to completely revolve their lives around it.
Being the bride doesn't give you permission to be controlling, inconsiderate, or demanding.
And if you're so concerned about controlling every detail of your bridesmaids' appearance, behavior, and social interactions that you can't let them be themselves, maybe you shouldn't have a bridal party.
Because the whole point of having bridesmaids is to surround yourself with women you love.
Not people you can control.
Not people you can financially or emotionally exhaust.
And certainly not people who have to stop being themselves for the sake of your wedding aesthetic.
These friendships should outlast the wedding. Let's start treating them like you want them to.
From my wedding notebook to yours,
