Can we talk about how bachelorette parties have gotten a little out of hand?
Somewhere along the way, a fun night out with your closest girlfriends turned into a four-day destination vacation complete with matching outfits, elaborate decorations, themed dinners, expensive excursions, and an Airbnb that costs more than some people's monthly mortgage payments.
And who's paying for all of this?
Your bridesmaids.
Women who are already purchasing dresses, paying for alterations, buying shoes, attending showers, purchasing gifts, and potentially taking time off work for your wedding.
Now we're asking them to use their limited vacation days and spend hundreds, sometimes thousands, of additional dollars celebrating a wedding that isn't theirs.
And here's the thing. Just because someone agrees to be your bridesmaid doesn't mean she agreed to finance an entire wedding season.
I love a good girls' trip. And if everyone genuinely wants to go, has the money, and is excited about the plans, wonderful! Book the flights and have the best time.
But there's a difference between inviting your friends on a trip and making them feel obligated to attend one.
Your bridesmaids should never have to choose between protecting their finances and protecting their friendship with you.
And bridesmaids shouldn't feel embarrassed about saying, "I can't afford that."
A bachelorette party is supposed to celebrate your friendships, not test how much your friends are willing to sacrifice for you.
Have the destination weekend if it works for everyone. Have a local dinner if it doesn't. Have a sleepover with pizza and movies if that's what your group can comfortably enjoy.
Because years from now, I promise the relationships you maintained will matter more than the matching pajamas, personalized drink tumblers, or perfectly decorated Airbnb.
Your wedding is a big deal. But so are the lives of the women standing beside you.
From my wedding notebook to yours,
